I Am What I Eat (Top 5 Restaurants Of 2014)

     Food is not just a means to fill your belly, or at least it shouldn't be. I spent over half of my life not realizing what it really meant to eat good food. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the simple comfort of cheap and fast food, but there is simply no substitute for a truly great, high quality, creative, well prepared meal. I was 28 years old before I ever ate "gourmet" food. Jade and I were on a cruise for our 10th anniversary, and the ship we were on (Celebrity Century) was known for its five star rated restaurant. At dinner each evening you were presented with a variety of menu choices and if you didn't like it they would bring you another choice. If you did like it they would bring you more if you wanted it. It was during this week that I learned to appreciate and love real, good, food prepared by a chef. I have been hooked ever since, even to the point of being motivated to learn to cook from scratch myself since paying others to do it can get a little expensive. Since that time, whenever we travel, which tends to be often, we seek out great restaurants. Rarely does this include chain restaurants (although I do love me some Carrabba's), so don't expect to see a Chipotle, Red Lobster or Olive Garden on my list (and yes, I fully realize I am a food snob, sorry, not sorry). Strangely enough, this list contains two that could be considered "chain" restaurants. That should tell you that it just wasn't a good year for food for me (but 2015 is looking very promising already). As a side note, I don't think a restaurant has to be fancy or expensive to make my top 5, it just has to have really good and sometimes creative food. Bon Apetit.
     Cochon (New Orleans, LA) - Ok, so I'm technically pushing the envelope on this one since I last ate there in 2013, but it was at the tail end of 2013 and within the last 12 month window (at the time of this writing). Like I said, 2014 wasn't a great year for food for me. Anyway, Cochon is literally my favorite restaurant in the world, ever. Chef Donald Link opened Cochon (Cajun for "pig") after Katrina and it landed him, and his restaurant, near the top of the New Orleans food chain, and they've both been there ever since. Cochon specializes in authentic Cajun food. Cajun food isn't necessarily hot and spicy, although most people define it as covered in cayenne, it is country food. Cajuns are legendary for taking whatever they have available to them and making masterpieces out of it. When the Acadians fled Nova Scotia and settled in Evangeline (an area that only Native Americans were brave enough to inhabit), they saw rice paddies, crawfish, turtle, shrimp, oysters, squirrels, rabbit and they figured out ways to cook it all and make it delicious. This is Cajun food and no one, outside of your grand-mere, does it better. The best dish on their menu is the rabbit and dumplings cooke in a wood fire oven in a cast iron skillet. It doesn't hurt that they have my favorite root beer (Abita) on tap. I have also tried their turkey, black eyed pea and kale gumbo, which is just ridiculous. I love this restaurant so much that I actually have a photo of their sign as my home screen on my iPhone (and so does my youngest Po). You don't have to comment, I realize how sad that is. Like I said, for me, food is a love affair.

     BurgerFi (Gainesville, FL) - Full disclosure: I LOVE hamburgers and this is technically a chain, but it's a small chain (75 locations nationwide). Regardless, they make a great cheeseburger. Everything is fresh (lots of places advertise that, but you can actually taste it here) and they have a great remoulade sauce you can get on it. There really isn't a lot to say about it. Thick, delicious burger, fresh ingredients, lots of cool add ons for your burger, good specialty sauce and an almost comical amount of parmesan fries as a side. I know it's a little thing (but honestly, isn't it always the little things?), but I love that they "brand" their burger buns with their logo. It's not ready to join Company Burger and Cowbell in New Orleans on my Mount Rushmore of burgers (just not enough alternative options), but i's a great local option. Another big plus is that it is right next to a Starbucks and Gigi's Cupcakes. One. Stop. Shopping.

     Gumbeaux's (Douglasville, GA) - Finding a restaurant that serves even decent/edible Cajun food outside of Louisiana is as rare and hen's teeth, much less finding one that is actually great, but Gumbeaux's pulls it off (FYI - Henry's Louisiana Grill in Ackworth, GA has been my default go-to Cajun place for several years, but Gumbeaux's caught my eye when I ate there a year ago and burst onto the top five after trying it again a few weeks back. Truth is they are pretty close, one is just north of Atlanta, the other is just West and the route I'm traveling usually determines which one I stop at). Gumbeaux's is located in a downtown area with character, a big plus, it is decorated in authentic Louisiana relics and memorabilia, which is a sign that the owner is legit. They have a big menu with tons of great choices, not just your standard gumbo, po boy, jambalaya, étouffée that all the posers offer. They have Abita Root Beer which is essentially a requirement for a Cajun place to make my top 5 (Henry's does too now BTW). All their Cajun food is great, especially the stuffed/fried shrimp, but the menu item that steals the show is the pork chops. I can't say enough to you about this dish. My dad and I are connoisseurs of grilled meats and hard to impress and this dish literally, and I mean literally, brought us to laughter. One bite and my dad's reaction was to start laughing out loud with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. He laughed so loud that other tables began to look and inquire what was going on. Why was he laughing? It was so good that it produced pure, sheer joy in him. Many of you will not understand that at all, but those of us who love good food will get it perfectly. As a crowd casually gathered, samples were passed around and every table near us began to order or change their order to the pork chops. There are two of them, they are thick, glazed and perfect, served on top of a pile of garlic mashed potatoes. Which reminds me, the portions in this place are ridiculously large, like biggest I've ever seen. My dad and I both are serious eaters and I've yet to eat all my food. They are pricey ($15-25 per entree) but you can easily share and don't even fool with appetizers, just too much food to eat. Another thing you need to know, if you go during peak hours (Friday/Saturday supper) YOU WILL WAIT A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF TIME. I hate waiting as much as anyone, but I will tell you that is usually a good sign. I have waited over two hours to eat here, and I was sick and running fever at the time. That should tell you a few things: #1 how much I love good food, #2 how popular this place is and #3 I don't consider it too much to ask to wait this long for this food.

     Tupelo Honey (Chattanooga, TN) - Again, technically a chain (but I think there are only six), but a really cool place in a really cool location. Tupelo Honey is located in the Warehouse District, near all of the buzz and activity in Chattanooga. The best way I know to describe their menu is gourmet Cracker Barrel. Southern, country food with a chef's flare and quality. I've become an appreciator of shrimp and grits and they know how to do it right. They know exactly what they're doing with their nutty fried chicken and if you are a vegetarian they have a great selection of veggie dishes. For me though, it's all about the breakfast menu, available anytime. I don't know what kind of deal with the Devil the chef made to be able to make omelets like this, but trust me, you've never had an omelet before if you haven't had one at Tupelo Honey. How do you make an omelet four inches thick? I've tried at home, I can't do it. I do the "build your own" and get Havarti cheese, roasted red peppers, caramelized onions, fried garlic, basil and smoked sausage. You will not be hungry again for 36 hours. If you decide to get an appetizer, share the fried goat cheese grits cakes with roasted red pepper sauce. Great food, great location and great atmosphere. And if you go in spring their are cherry blossom trees in full bloom outside.

     Smoky Mountain Cheesecake Cafe (Sevierville, TN) - On my lat day in Sevierville for a conference this summer I stumbled upon a jewel hidden in plain sight. A very unassuming building sitting on the side of the road piqued my interest because it advertised cheesecake. I. Love. Cheesecake. When I get a birthday cake it is almost always a cheesecake. Once inside I discovered a pleasant surprise. Not only do they have a variety of homemade, high end cheesecakes, they serve Cuban sandwiches. My love affair with Cuban sandwiches began over a decade ago when I flew to Tampa to speak for a weekend. I had never heard of a Cuban sandwich but in Ybor City it was the thing to eat, so I got one. Love at first bite. Ever since I have made it a point to seek out the best Cuban sandwich (along with best fried chicken, cheeseburger, pizza, gumbo, po boy, etc, etc, etc). Sadly, most of the time you just run across a lame panini called a Cuban, but not at this place. It was authentic, they even had their bread shipped in from Tampa. Whenever I'm in Tampa Bay I always eat at The Floridian because of their award winning Cubans, but if I'm going to be totally honest, this one was better. And then the cheesecake. Nearly six inches tall of creamy, sweet perfection. The one knock on the place is that it is tiny. If they are busy you will not have anywhere to sit, but even if you have to stand or eat in the car, the food is worth it.

     Honorable Mention: Skip's Deli (Lake City, FL) - When we moved here everyone kept asking us if we had tried Skip's (I literally live 1/4 mile away) and we hadn't. So one day I'm driving by and decided to whip in and give it a chance. They have a huge sandwich menu that I will likely never sample because I won't be able to come off of The Godfather. Salami, prosciutto, capicola, pepperoni and a variety of other Italian meats that I can't spell or pronounce, cheese, oil, Italian seasons. I feel like Tony Soprano eating this sandwich.

     That's it. 2014 wasn't my best year for eating great food, but a couple of trips to New Orleans on the calendar and several expeditions deeper into Florida in 2015 make it look promising. Now, if you will excuse me, I've got to go get something to eat.

A Night To Remember (Well 5 Of Them To Be Exact, Ok, 6)

     If you aren't a fan of music, food or film I don't know why you would be reading my blog, since about 75% of what I write revolves around those three topics. But I'm assuming if you are still here that you do love these things and if so you are precisely who I want to share these things with.
     From my vantage point there are five ideal ways that music can be consumed. In no particular order: #1 - Vinyl. We have a room in our house devoted to music. There are very big speakers. Very old components (like, older than me old), and lots of vinyl records. If you don't know why anyone would want to listen to an album on vinyl instead of streaming or mp3, please take this exit and find the nearest Spotify station. #2 - Headphones. If you can't flood a tower of 15 inch speakers with 1,000 watts of power, go with the next best thing. Headphones (especially these new bass boosting, noise canceling ones) will tune out the world and turn up the subtle nuances of the music that can otherwise get lost. An added bonus is that you don't have to hear yourself sing when you are wearing headphones. #3 - Driving. For me, there is no greater therapy than windows down, stereo up, singing at the top of my lungs at 70 mph. During my three years on the road I am convinced this was the one thing that kept me sane. #4 - Friends. Some of my greatest memories in life involve a room full of people singing together like we were the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Buffett, one hit wonders, anything. Music is magical in its ability to be so intimately personal, while at the same time being communal, and there is no better way to experience it than with your best friends singing along. #5 - Live. Music isn't truly, fully, music, unless it is live. Music at its heart is about expression and connection and you cannot do either any better than live, missed notes, cracked voices, forgotten lyrics and all. I love live music. I can even enjoy music that I typically don't like, if it is live. I've even been converted to music that I hated because I heard it performed live (more about that in a minute). Here are the top five concerts I saw this year in no particular order.
     Houndmouth at Miller Park in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I've raved about Houndmouth over and over on this blog in the past year and I will one more time. It doesn't get much better than this night. I was in Chattanooga, which has rapidly become one of my new favorite cities to visit. I was with an old friend who is just as musically obsessed as I am, that I don't get to hang out with much anymore. I got to visit a couple who are dear friends that have opened their home to me on many occasions and joined me in experiencing many of my greatest joys. I got to eat great local pizza before the show and awesome custom hamburgers after. Oh and did I mention I got to stand at the stage and see Houndmouth for free?!?! I love their record and they are great live. The crowd started kind of sparse and disinterested, but the bad slowly changed that. It was awesome to watch the crowd go from small and half hearted, to packed and partying. During their hour and a half set they won the crowd over. As a bonus I picked up their album on vinyl.

     Tab Benoit at the University Auditorium/University of Florida in Gainesville, FL. This was the fulfillment of a long held dream. I've been a fan of Tab Benoit for a long time, I've stayed in his home town and even have a friend who worked at a spa where his wife frequented, but I'd never seen him live. First of all, the venue automatically became one of my all time favorites (the Ryman will always be king). It never was a church but it looks like some kind of Gothic cathedral. It is gorgeous, the campus is gorgeous, the acoustics are fantastic and it has more character than any place I've ever been. On top of that I was able to take my wife and mother in law to share in the experience. We had good seats and it was a very small, intimate show. It was almost more like hanging out with him that being at a concert. He talked with the crowd more than anyone I've ever seen and he took requests for basically the entire setlist. And let me tell you, the dude can flat wear out a guitar. It was mind blowing just to watch him play. And to top it all off I got to meet him after the show and get a picture for the scrapbook.

     Soundgarden/Nine Inch Nails at Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheater in Tampa, FL. So much was against this being a good concert. I had worked hard in the yard all day and was exhausted. I had to drive three hours in the rain. It was an amphitheater (I hate amphitheaters). And let's be honest, these "rock stars" are older than me, so I just wasn't sure if they could pull off the cool factor anymore, much less sound good live in their forties. However, there were a few things working in its favor. I was with my oldest, they are two of my favorite bands and I had seen them both in my teens. Nostalgia is always good for bonus points. I first saw Soundgarden at Lollapalooza in Atlanta when I was 15. It was arguably the coolest day in my life, I'll tell you about it sometime. I first saw NIN at Vanderbilt in Nashville my freshman year of college. This is where it all gets very surreal. I remember discovering Led Zeppelin and The Doors when I was a teenager, you know, my parents music, oldies. I have lived long enough to witness my son discover my music, you know oldies. He's a fan of Soundgarden so it was very bizarre to see them with him. Here is where it really takes a turn into the Twilight Zone. I saw NIN when I was 19 (the same age him) and I was there with his mother, who was pregnant with him at the time (though we wouldn't find out for a couple of weeks). I have to admit it was one of those moments where you just think "what a strange turn of events." To top it all off, both acts sounded surprisingly great live. I was honestly expecting the worst, but they sounded good, in fact Soundgarden sounded better than when I heard them 23 years ago.

     Trevor Hall with Tubby Love & Cas Haley at Ringside in St. Petersburg, FL. This one caught me off guard. It had all the makings for a great night from the start. I'm on a date weekend with Her in St. Pete, so there was that, however, I didn't really want to be there because I hated Trevor Hall, but she loves him, and I'm nothing if not a husband who wants to make every wish come true, so I went. Expectations couldn't be lower. Oh how I was surprised. Despite the fact that the demographic wasn't mine (mostly real hippies and wanna be hippies), the atmosphere was good and the music was fantastic. Trevor Hall won me over with that live performance. We were right against the stage and it was very stripped down: upright bass, acoustic guitar, guy playing a wooden box, huge ring of keys (not kidding) and various other jingly items. The music was simple, genuine and powerful. I became a fan that night. I also dug the opening act Tubby Love, who is....I don't even know how to describe him. It's like he walked out of the rainforest having been raised by mother nature and wild animals. He was like a Mowgli with a guitar. He made animals sounds and sang about injustice, corporate greed and environmentalism (none of which are topics that are in my political wheelhouse), and yet he convinced me to listen, and if not agree, to at lest respect his point of view. For two months now I have listened to these two artists almost everyday since. That is what live music can do. I can't wait to see them live again now that I can sing along. Awwww yeah, awwww yeah (inside joke).

     Trombone Shorty at Curtis Hixon Park in Tampa, FL. This was a dream come true. I have been dying to see Trombone Shorty for a long time and I finally was able to back in March. He did not disappoint. The setting was perfect. Palm trees, sunset, lazy river, downtown Tampa (which is one of my favorite cities). Trombone Shorty puts on arguably the best show I've ever seen. The electricity, his energy, his level of performance just blew the place away. And that is saying something since it was an outdoor show and that is a hard atmosphere to control, but he owned it from the moment he took the stage until he walked off. Honestly, it was like seeing a young James Brown. The worst part of the show was that I was alone (although I did meet a lady beside me who was from Fayetteville, TN, 25 miles from where I am from) and that I haven't been able to see him live since. I am hooked and will be seeing Trombone Shorty every opportunity I have.

     Honorable mention - Dr. John at Aaron Bessant Park Amphitheater in Panama City Beach, FL. Here is the truth, the show wasn't great at all, but....it was Mardi Gras weekend, it was at the beach, it was a getaway weekend with Her, it was FREE and we were right up next to the stage, oh, and did I mention it was Dr. John!?!? Yet another artist I had been dying to see for so long. All in all, the experience was worth it even if the show itself wasn't great.
     That's my list of the five (six) best concerts I saw this year. I missed out on a few that I'm still kicking myself over (Jason Isbell in Live Oak, FL, literally 30 minutes from my house and at the Ryman; Kermit Ruffins in Jacksonville, FL; Houndmouth at the Ryman with Drive By Truckers; Chris Robinson Brotherhood in Live Oak, FL), but I've got a few awesome ones I'll get to mark off the bucket list in 2015 (Voice Of The Wetland Allstars in January in Tallahassee and a Valentine's Weekend getaway with Her to St. Pete to see Harry Connick Jr). I have a feeling those two are already on my top five for 2015.

Just Take Those Old Records Off The Shelf....My Top Five Albums Of 2014

     As a disclaimer at the beginning of this post, I am not certain that any or all of these albums actually came out in 2014, but I do know that I was exposed to them for the first time in 2014, so that counts, right?

     Here are my top five albums of 2014, in no particular order.

     Southeastern by Jason Isbell - Just right now I can't remember the who, where and why of my introduction to this album. Jason is from Green Hill, Alabama (about 40 miles from where I grew up) and he was one of the chief songwriters and guitarists for the Drive By Truckers for many years. In fact, he's responsible for my favorite DBT song "Outfit." Somehow or another I came across this and it was like finding a unicorn. I can count on one hand the number of times I have sat down and listened to an album straight through the first time and loved every single song, and this was one of those times. Although it's really impossible for me to truly pick favorites off this album, I have to say "Cover Me Up" and "Traveling Alone" are the two that get played the most often. When you play this record you will be impressed with two things: 1) he almost certainly lived every line of these songs personally and 2) he doesn't so much right songs, but poetry set to music. Sometimes his choice of words is profound and causes you to lose the song as you ponder that richness of that one word.

From The Hills Below The City by Houndmouth - One day I was bored and I was bored with music. Everything I had listened to recently was either lame or my first thought was "This sounds like...." So I googled "bands you haven't heard of yet" and up popped an article referencing Houndmouth. I quickly searched them on YouTube and the first video to pop up was "Casino (Bad Things)." Instantly hooked. It didn't sound like anything I'd heard before. I clicked on their next video, which was actually just them rehearsing and playing around with some folk songs. Without wasting another second I downloaded their album and, voila, another one of the five times in my life I've listened to an album straight through and loved every single song. Houndmouth is based out of Louisville and they've only been a band for a few years, but they caught lightning in a bottle with their four part harmonies and stripped down instrumentation. All four members can and do sing lead vocals on the album and there isn't a drop off no matter who takes the mic. (I've seen them live and they actually can swap out instruments with one another too and still blow you away). Their songwriting is very unusual in that they seem to be written as perspective songs from the viewpoint of outlaws and fringe society in the dustbowl era, yet amazingly they speak to a contemporary audience. I don't mind telling you this is my new favorite band and the vinyl that gets played the most often on my record player. There's not a bad song on the record but "On The Road", "Casino (Bad Things)", "Long As You're At Home" and "'Comin Round Again" are the ones I find myself singing in the shower.

Hard Working Americans by Hard Working Americans - HWA is basically a supergroup, made up of the King of East Nashville and his Court (Todd Snider, Dave Schools of Widespread Panic, Neil Casil of The Chris Robinson Brotherhood, Duane Trucks, as in Derek Trucks little brother and Chad Staehly of Great American Taxi). By the way, if you are wondering what is "East Nashville", it's the opposite of the pop country music machine side of Nashville that has devoured Music Row. East Nashville is where the real Music City begins. I've been a big fan of Todd Snyder for years and when I learned he was forming this group with all of these great musicians I signed on without hearing the first note, and I was not disappointed. The bottom line is this album is comprised of a number of covers of songs about life, struggle, heartache, loss and disappointment. It is a humble album about humble, hard working people who are just trying to get by and make a living from day to day. The album opens with "Blackland Farmer", originally recorded by Frankie Miller in 1959! The song "Stomp and Holler" was the first single from the record and it set the tone of righteous indignation and a downright temper tantrum. My personal favorite though is "Run A Mile." Whether you are driving, cutting grass, washing dishes or laying on the couch, when this song comes on you've got to move. The guys in this band are serious musicians and this album will have you dancing and protesting all at the same time. It is an amazing collection of music, blending old songs with contemporary issues and doing it all in the voice of the common man.

Hesitation Marks by Nine Inch Nails - I first heard NIN sitting in Brad Jernigan's bedroom with my friends Roc and Brad Liddie. I remember Brad saying, "Check this out" and then he played "Sanctified" and I thought to myself "What in the world is this music?" I had never heard this kind of music before. I came to learn that it was described as Industrial Rock, which made sense since Trent Reznor was using what sounded like a skillsaw running across sheet metal. Twenty plus years later NIN is still making records and I'm still a fan. Trent Reznor, like me, has grown older, married, had children and does a lot less "raging against the machine," but he still has a lot to say. Many NIN fans hated this album, but it is actually one of my favorites. It's not as angry and aggressive as his past works, but it still speak to issues of fear, doubt, baggage, hope, disappointment and anxiety. It speaks from a perspective of one who never thought he'd live to be "middle aged", but now he is and he is wondering, now what? Trent Reznor always seems to be able to make music that sounds like it comes from the future and this is no exception. At times you find yourself imagining that sentient computers made this music instead of a man. "Copy Of A" sets the tone for the record both sonically and lyrically, but "Came Back Hanted" is where it really hits its stride. "Find My Way" is perhaps the most unusual NIN song to date. It is always spoken as if it were a prayer of a desperate man who desperately wants to believe, which is a bit surprising coming from Trent Reznor. The song that caught my attention the quickest was "Everything", mainly because it is such a stripped down, simple, almost punk, song from a typically very layered, complex musician. Lyrically he announced almost triumphantly, "I survived everything, I have tried everything." I'm not going to suggest that this is his best work, but it was one of the best records I heard all year. It shows an artist who is still connected to his roots, but at the same time, not afraid to grow.

Trevor Hall by Trevor Hall - Ok, so this one completely took me by surprise. This is not the kind of music that I listen to. This is the kind of music I make fun of. In fact, I did for quite awhile. My wife and her friend Abby had gotten into this "psuedo-reggae" garbage as I referred to it on one occasion. It's all peace and mother earth and karma and sitars and blaaaaah. Ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit on some of that, but honestly, I didn't like it. She listened to it constantly, non-stop, like everyday and I hated it a little more every day. I used to joke about this white kid from North Carolina trying to sing all rasta man, and then something strange happened on the way to the beach. She asked me to take her to Tampa to see him in concert in this tiny little venue and of course I said yes. These are the things loving husbands do, they go hear lame music because their wife wants to. I cannot tell you how much I was dreading this concert. I cannot tell you how much I did not want to be there. I cannot tell you how much I resented having paid for tickets to this joke, and yet that night, surrounded by a few hundred people, and standing only a few feet from the stage, I fell in love with this music. Being able to look him in the eye as he played and sang I realized he was just a man singing about love and hope and faith and unity. And I started thinking to myself, all of those things are pretty important to me too. Trevor Hall music is not by any stretch of the imagination religious music, but watching him perform, it seemed to me almost as if this were a religious rite for him. He actually believed in the things he was singing about and, you know what, I do to. Now that my prejudice and bias was out of the way I was able to listen to the lyrics and found a truly beautiful message that I believe in. This album did not come out in 2014, although he had one which did, and I like it too, just not as much as this one. It's hard to decide on just a few songs to highlight, but you definitely need to check out "31 Flavors", "Where's The Love", "Origami Crane", "The Lime Tree", "Who You Gonna Turn To", "Internal Heights" and my absolute favorite, "Unity." I'll sum up the totality of his music with one line from the song Unity, "Love all, serve all, and create no sorrow."

Honorable Mentions:

     There was so much great music that I was exposed to this year, but I can't list it all, yet there are two others that deserve honorable mentions even though they are only EP's.

     The Real Thing by Tubby Love - Tubby opened for Trevor Hall and I must say I've never seen a performance quite that that in my life. My first thought is this dude is some hippie kid that just walked in out of the jungle and was raised by animals in the rainforest. It was as if Mowgli from the Jungle Book had learned to play guitar. His music is very, er, how do I put this, earthy? But it is genuine. Admittedly I'm not all in like these guys, but I respected the message, the energy and the passion. His two best songs are clearly "Simple City" and "The Real Thing." Check them out.

     Trigger Hippy by Trigger Hippy - This is another EP, by another "super group." The drummer is Steve Gorman of The Black Crowes, session musician Tom Bukovac, vocalist Joan Osborne and man about town singer/songwriter Jackie Greene. The EP is worthy the purchase price just for the song "Heartache On The Line." This is another band made up of serious musicians with real talent and a love for music. You won't be disappointed.
     The holidays are right around the corner. You may be spending time in the car, the airport or with annoying relatives, so go to your favorite steaming music provider and type in some of these artists/songs and let me know what you think.

Now Accepting A Limited Amount Of New Music

     Any of you who are still around have noticed I haven't been. I told you in the beginning that I only write if I have something to say, and well, I haven't had anything to say for quite some time now. But that all changed today. Inspiration comes from some unexpected places and today it came from a text my son sent me. Oh yeah, since we last spoke the oldest moved back to Tennessee. No I didn't kick him out, he got a good job and headed back to the farm. Life, if anything, is unpredictable. Anyway, he sent me a text today, jokingly listing NOW That's What I Call Music Volume ??? as every entry in his top ten list of albums from this year. I laughed, and then with all of the musical snobbery I could muster, condescended that I know several people for whom that top ten list would be true. After we had our fun, it got me to thinking, what are my top five albums of the year?
     In the interest of full disclosure, this was quite a task since I issued a "no new music" embargo a few years back. For a few years now, every time someone said, "Hey you should check out...." I would politely reply, "I'm not accepting any new music at this time." Yeah I know that sounds both weird and jerkish, but it was true. Since the ushering in of the digital music era, launched by my first iPod, expanded by iTunes and finally becoming all encompassing with streaming music on demand, I have literally been overwhelmed with music. There is just too much music to consume. Those who know me well are aware of the fact that whenever I have an overload of stimuli, I basically just shut down. Can't help it, sensory overload just freezes me up like an old computer trying to process too much data with not enough RAM.
     I remember fondly the hours I spent listening to music when I was young. It all began with that turn table when I was eight. I wore out my Electric Breakdance record and then ventured into the world of hip hop. Grandmaster Flash, Doug E. Fresh, Egyptian Lover, UTFO (please tell me you remember "The Real Roxanne"?!?!), Kid-n-Play and of course, M.C. HAMMER! I can't tell you how many hours I spent in my room trying to memorize lyrics, practice new moves and ruining my turntable trying to scratch like the DJ's did. When the parachute pants/breakdance fad ran its course, I moved on to the next fad coming up on the horizon......hair metal! Def Leppard, Skid Row, Motley Crue, Guns-n-Roses, Bon Jovi, Poison, I had them all and I loved them. They were my friends, my teachers (and they taught me a few things my mom didn't want me to know), and my counselors. Don't lie and pretend like you didn't shed a few tears alone in your room to "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" and "I'll Be There For You." I'm not saying I did, but I will admit to blowing up 104.3 WZYP's all request hour every night at nine to make sure my girlfriend of the week knew that all we needed was a little "Patience."
     Then one night, in an instant, it all changed. The hair metal that defined my musical passion all through middle school was eradicated by the simple declaration, "With the lights out it's less dangerous, here we are now entertain us, I feel stupid and contagious, here we are now, entertain us." Mind blown. What did I just hear, what did I just see, what was he saying, what did it all mean? But most importantly, "Who was that?" That was the birth of a cultural shift, a generational gap and a new kind of music. That was Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, and for those of my generation (X) you can remember where you were the first time you heard them as much as our parents generation can remember where they were when they learned JFK died. Goodbye Bon Jovi, Cinderella and Warrant, hello Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, Sonic Youth, Mudhoney, Mother Love Bone, Temple Of The Dog and I could go on and on. For the first time I didn't just enjoy music, I literally felt like it was speaking to me. I never knew that music could tap into your heart on such a primal level that was beyond explaining with words, but I knew now.
     From this point forward I listened to music in a whole new way. I listened for every nuance, every instrument, every phrase. Music was no longer a pastime, it was now a passion. For the first time in my life I didn't just listen to and like whatever was being played on the radio. Now I was actually seeking out music. Experimenting with new types of music that I'd never before considered. I went to record stores in every city I traveled to and searched for hours through their bins. I joined fan clubs, read every magazine I could buy and even ordered imported, underground and bootleg music. It was a whole new world, and then.......children.
     Let me explain for those who are offspring challenged (those who don't have kids). When you have children, many things change in your life, one of which is music. Suddenly as a dad you start to pay attention to lyrics that you don't want your little sponge to absorb and regurgitate and the most inopportune time, like church (seriously, why did our parents let us listen to Grease, did they not hear the lyrics?). Also, they have musical tastes of their own, and although you try to school them on the pure, stripped down, unadulterated, un-produced perfection that is The Black Crowes or the genre changing, cultural gumbo and pure genius sampling of the Beastie Boys, they are apparently predestined to be drawn to overproduced, catchy, bubble gum pop (N'Sync). Of course that's an improvement from The Wiggles and Barney and Teletubbies "music" you had to endure during their toddler years. During my years in musical exile (i.e. raising little ones), my musical exposure dwindled. I'm no longer hanging out with cool, trendy, cutting edge audiophiles, but soccer moms and t-ball dads, and they are listening to the same "I love you, you love me" audio-nausea that I am. Time marches on.
     The kids get a little older and a little cooler in their musical tastes and then the digital music era explodes. Now I'm going back and listening to things I haven't heard since I was in elementary school. I'm telling my kids, "You've got to hear this. This was my favorite band when I was your age" (only to be given a very judgmental look from your obviously way cooler than you 7th grader). Who knew "Walk Like An Egyptian" isn't considered a classic? Anyway, for years I immersed myself in finding, acquiring and listening to the music of my youth that I loved so much. And much like in my youth, I listened over and over again for hours and hours. In the car, in the office, at home, riding on the lawnmower. My iPod allowed me to take 10,000 songs with me in my pocket. Down the rabbit hole I went.
     Bottom line, there is just too much music available now. Every one hit wonder and favorite hit you remember is available at the push of a button. New music is pumped out daily, not just by the record company, but by independent musicians on their own YouTube channels or Facebook pages. There is so much music (and so much really good music) available that it became too much for me and much like in my youth, I retreated to my bedroom to play my old favorites (which coincidentally, have literally become "oldies") over and over again. My sons, who now are full fledged audiophiles themselves, have tried relentlessly to get me to listen to this band or that band, and my response was always, "I'm just not accepting any new music right now." If I can't check it all out, then I'm not going to check any of it out.
     And then I stumbled across a band that changed everything. Come tumbling down with the walls. Much like the blasting of the horns outside of Jericho, it was the music of Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue that tore down the walls I had built to keep new music out (Seriously, go check out "Hurricane Season" by Trombone Shorty RIGHT NOW!) Now the floodgates were open again: John Boutte, Kermit Ruffins, Anders Osborne, Dr. John, Tab Benoit, Rebirth Brass Band. It was jazz and blues that spoke to my soul and opened my mind to at least try a few new musical samplings, and it has led me to some places musically that I NEVER in a million years dreamed I would go. But I went and I loved it and I hope you might too.
     I'm not going to pretend that I'm back to feasting on the buffet of music that is available with reckless abandon, but I am accepting a limited amount of new music, and I am so glad I have. This year I was exposed to some really amazing music and I want to share it with you.....tomorrow. This post became much longer than I intended, so tomorrow I'm going to put out the first of several "Top 5" posts, beginning with my Top 5 Albums of 2014.

The Preacher's Wife

     My wife hasn't been a "preacher's wife" in the traditional sense of the word in nearly three years, but this morning I overheard her phone conversation and it triggered a lot of thoughts and memories that I should have shared a long time ago.
     This morning she was talking with a sister in Christ who's family had suffered a sudden death and was in the midst of trying to deal with a dozen different things. I overheard her asking the lady to let her cook their meals, clean their house, let them use our house to host a family gathering, and organize a family gathering for them that was already scheduled before the death. She just wanted to help and was willing to do anything her friend needed, and she meant it. I know she did because I remembered all of the times in the last 17 years that she has done those very things for people. And she did them for anyone in need equally. It could be a "prominent" member of the congregation, a visitor, a member that is hit or miss with attendance or one that has some serious problems and struggles they are dealing with. She didn't discriminate when it came to showing love. Would you believe some actually found fault with that? The criticism was that she spent a lot of time with people who weren't "good church goin' folks." It's funny now looking back on that type of comment because one of the complaints that Pharisee's issued about Jesus was that He was a "friend of publicans and sinners" (Matthew 11:19). Maybe what we thought was a complaint was actually a compliment ;)
     She is no longer a "preacher's wife" like she once was, but she was an AMAZING PREACHER'S WIFE, and even though I'm not still a local preacher she is still doing the same things. She genuinely cares about people in a way that humbles, inspires and amazes me. She is always thinking about how to brighten someone else's day and inspire them in their lives and does a hundred little things to accomplish that. Even when she is laid up in the bed in so much pain she gets physically sick and cries, she is on Facebook trying to cheer someone up or make them feel loved, or using Paypal, Esty or Pinterest to send someone a "happy" (her term for a little surprise gift). I found out that this morning she had some cute little customized cookies sent to a preacher and his wife who live 500 miles away. Keep in mind, she doesn't actually know these people really. She's met them once (two years ago) and has communicated with them on social media a few times about campers, but she wanted to brighten their day. It's always amazed me that a small number of insecure people have overlooked a mountain of kindness, love, gifts and generosity that she heaps up and strain to find a tiny "flaw" to criticize her for. I've literally heard someone complain that she didn't smile enough?!?! If you've been around her for even five minutes you are likely thinking what a ridiculous idea that is, but when you are a person who truly wants to be a blessing to the people around you and you are told that, it cuts deep and makes you really doubt yourself.
     I can't even begin to tell you how many young (and some older) women she has cried with and counseled at all hours of the night, who had been raped, abused by their boyfriends, were pregnant by their boyfriend, had substance abuse problems, were devastated by their husbands affair, felt they would be single and alone forever, or just didn't fit in at church. Just this week a woman sent her this message, "YOU my sweet friend are one of the main reasons I am where I am today. You were that Christian that used #4 to help me. When we needed the change, you took me in and helped me. I will never ever forget that and could never repay you any amount of money. I talked about you in class the other night because of what you did. It all started with you telling me to help you with VBS. I had to step out of my comfort zone and loved it once I got over the shock. Lol. And that started it all and it continued with ya'll studying with us. It seriously helped us at a time when we needed it the most. Love you so much! Thank you for teaching me what #4 is all about! (#4 was a reference to a point made in an article she shared that talked about taking weak Christians under your wing). The woman who sent that.....she's a preacher's wife now. If you look down and see a stone in your hand that you are ready to cast, ask yourself, "How many 'weak' Christians have I elevated to greater commitment to God by my judgmental/condemning approach?" When everyone wanted to kill the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8:1-11), Jesus took the focus off of her and onto Himself (why do you think He stooped down and wrote in the dirt instead of responding to them? It redirected everyone's attention from her, to Him), which is what He did for all of us on the cross. He took the focus of God's wrath for our sins off of us and put them on Himself. When all of those David wannabes, who would rather sling their stones at babes in Christ instead of wicked Goliath's, walked away, Jesus simply told her that He wasn't there to condemn her and told her to sin no more. And you know what? I bet she didn't.
   Maybe you haven't been guilty of that attitude toward my wife, but have you done that to someone else? Maybe your preacher's wife? Once again I look to Scripture and notice that there were people who literally watched Jesus, staring at Him, scrutinizing His every word and deed, looking for something to find fault with Him (Mark 3:2; Luke 6:7; Luke 20:20). I'm not comparing my wife, or your preacher's wife to Jesus, but I am asking you to examine your own motives and actions and ask yourself do they reflect that of those who would even try to find fault in the Lord Himself?
     Your preacher's wife most likely loves your family and congregation more than you can imagine. They didn't get in to this lifestyle because it was easy or lucrative, but because they have learned from Jesus how to love and serve people. Good church goin' folks, backsliders, Christmas and Easter only Christians, even heathens, and yes.....even you. The very ones who find a needle of a flaw in a haystack of good and use it to gouge them in the eye. The world desperately needs more of them, and if you will just stop laying stumbling blocks in their path, or better yet, join in with them, they will help inspire others to be like them by showing the love of Christ to those who have been deemed unlovable.
     "Life's too short to worry, life's too long to wait. Life's too short not to love everybody, life's too long to hate."

Put Another Dime In The Jukebox (3rd Set)

     Ok, so things have gotten a little heavy around here lately, and while introspection is important, singing at the top of your lungs is too. Sadly, I haven't been listening to music much lately, so I thought I'd share a little with you (as I sit and listen to Led Zeppelin IV for the first time in ages).

Brandi Carlisle ~ The Story: I first heard this song just by sheer happenstance. Much to the chagrin of my family, I am a huge fan of the weekly radio variety show A Prairie Home Companion. The reasons for my obsession are another story for another day. On this particular Saturday I was grilling by the creek (I have to admit, I miss that) and listening to APHC. The musical guest for that week was Brandi Carlisle. I had never heard of her, nor had I heard the song she would sing, The Story. In an instant I stopped what I was doing and just listened. I didn't even sit down, I just stood there and listened. It was beautiful, haunting, moving and strangely familiar. It was like I knew this song, but I had never heard it. It was as if The Story was my story. I'm not much of a fan of the rest of her music, though I do like a few of her songs a lot, this song is in my top 25 for sure. The pain in her voice when she sings the chorus at the end of the song brings tears to my eyes upon every listen. It's one of those songs that just about anyone can hear themselves in. Maybe you will to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8pQLtHTPaI

Ofelia ~ Hawk Fly Tiger Run: Ok, so I'll admit up front that I have absolutely no idea what this song is even about, but I love it, which is very rare for me because I generally love a song for its lyrics, not its sound, but this song has the coolest, stripped down, subtle sound. She and I discovered this song while watching the one show we both like. I really don't even know what to say about this song except, I haven't heard anything else like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0ht12f4Dd0

Dirty Guv'nahs ~ We'll Be The Light: I struggled with deciding which of their songs I wanted to suggest, so I settled on several. This band is made up of a bunch of guys from Tennessee, so they've got to be good :) The lead singer is actually the cousin of one of my best friends, and that's who introduced me to them. I am so glad he did. They kind of remind me of early Black Crowes, and you know how I feel about that. At times I even feel like I'm hearing a little Rolling Stones. It's nice to know that there are still bands making rock-n-roll music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3N6x47UPV8

Also, We Were Young: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJWnDD5h6uE
One more, The Country: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMIv1GQIb8U
These lines, oh my word, don't they just say it all?
“It’s hard, hard to walk away from you
But we don’t live at the same speed.
You’re gonna make somebody happy.
But that someone, ain’t me.”
“Cause when you’re thinking bout the country
You’re just trying to be with me
Seasons change the way that we are
and spring changed me.”

Marc Broussard ~ Home: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuWPseegaKw This boy crawled out of the swamps of Carencro, Louisiana and was apparently baptized in the blues. And yes, the guy in the video is actually the one who sings this song. How that sound comes out of that little white boy I'll never know. I can't dance, I don't dance, but this song makes me get up and move. This song is like an old timey, southern revival. I challenge you to keep from clapping your hands and stomping your feet.

That's all for this time. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to share your obscure, lesser known, hidden gems. I love being introduced to new, cool music.

The Tale Of The Mid Life Crisis And Sugar Free Me

     Four weeks ago I posted about the bad results and blunt realization that I was fat and old (http://brandonbritton.blogspot.com/2014/02/two-out-of-three-doctors-agree-im-fat.html). It's funny how a serious conversation with a doctor can really knock you off your game. Last August I had to begin taking blood pressure medication due to hypertension. Some just refer to it as high blood pressure, which is true, but I think the medical term is more accurate, hypertension, for the simple fact that it includes a serious contributor to the problem: tension.
     2013, especially the last half of it, wasn't my best year. In fact, it may have been one of my worst. In all honesty, looking back, it wasn't really anything serious. Believe me, I have friends battling cancer, dealing with teenage pregnancy, enduring affairs, filing for bankruptcy, getting divorced, you name it. Those are real problems. But just because my struggles aren't as big, didn't mean that their impact on my life wasn't as real, or as debilitating. Things like moving far from home, family, friends and familiarity; starting a new job that you have no experience in; having your firstborn graduate from high school and your baby turn sixteen; traveling heavily and being away from your wife and children; trying to figure out how to pay for things like tuition and surgeries; having two children get seriously injured; and coming to grips with the fact you are medically fat and old (don't worry, in my rambling I haven't forgotten what this post is about). I didn't realize that tension, or as some would call it, stress, was building. The bigger it got, the less of me there was left. I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew something was. I felt constantly exhausted regardless of the amount of rest. Every night when I would get into bed I would begin having what could best be described as a panic attack (racing heart, feelings of tremendous fear). I struggled finding motivation to do anything and my family told me that I had changed. Wow! Wake up call. The worst part of it all, not knowing what to do about it. You have to understand I have a reputation for being the one that nothing ever gets to. I was Teflon to stress, so succumbing to it was an undiscovered country for me. Many of nights I found myself thinking, "So, is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?"
     Generally when people speak of a "mid-life crisis" they do so in derogatory terms. You think of ponytails, earrings, motorcycles and girlfriends, but mine (if that is even what we're dealing with) has been quite positive. The doctor made some suggestions, most of them medicinal which I rejected, except for the blood pressure meds, which I hope to ditch once I drop another 20 pounds, but some of them I heeded. Like exercise, improved diet, increased water intake (seriously, I'm drinking 100-150 ounces a day), regular sleep patterns, and stress release activities. I started writing again (hence the flood of blogs and over-sharing that fill your news stream regularly), experimenting in forms of art (poetry, song writing, mixed media) and trying to stop being as introverted (I've actually started a few conversations with total strangers), all to improve my emotional health.
     The other half of the equation is improving my physical health. Since the "Fat And Old" blog post four weeks ago I have lost eight pounds and since January 1st I have lost twenty. I am not a gym rat, but I am exercising moderately. The main change has been my eating. I have taken control of my appetite. I haven't had a soft drink in a month, I haven't had bread, pasta or sugar in a month either. I don't consider myself to be "dieting" but rather modifying my lifestyle. In reality I'm just taking control of my life and it is paying off.
     I haven't solved all the problems, and I've still got a couple of issues to work out, but I feel like me again. In fact, I feel better than me. I feel like me with some improvements. If I have a goal for the second half of life it would be this: take what I've learned over nearly four decades and put it to good use. Hopefully by my next update I'll be just a little bit older, but a whole lot less fat.

The End Is Near!

     Not the end of the world (nobody knows when that will happen). And not the end of my blog (I need this too much to stop doing it). No, it's the end of something far more important. Sunday night the Ashley Theater in Valdosta is closing for good. If you've read much of my writing you know how much I looooooove going to the movies. I would rather go to the theater than watch a movie at home any day. I love everything about movie theaters, except their closing.
     The Ashley Theater is the "Dollar theater" although it's actually $2.50. You've probably got one like it in your town (although for how long I don't know). "Dollar theaters" are usually the old theater in a town. A big, fancy, newfangled, corporate owned, all digital, 27 screen super cinema with stadium seating, theater comes to town, surrounded by a mall, restaurants, and pretty soon everyone is watching movies there and the little, privately owned and operated cinema suddenly looks like an outdated relic, a fossil that technology has passed by. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy going to the newfangled cinemas too (see my previous post, http://www.brandonbritton.blogspot.com/search?q=movies#!http://brandonbritton.blogspot.com/2011/12/36-day-17-written-tuesday-december-27.html). The sound system, the crystal clear digital picture on a ginormous screen, the oversized, plush rocking seats. They are nice.........but.....they don't have the dingy, small, cavernous, nostalgia and character of the old ones that are still lingering around like artifacts from my childhood.
     I have found, as I grow older, that I appreciate the simplicity of things from my childhood. The last little bit of technological darkness before the cyber dawn. Before DVR's, smartphones and the internet, when we only had three channels, no remote controls, vinyl records and a few little squares of light on my television constituted a video game (Atari). It was a time when most of these "dollar theaters" were built. Funny thing is, they probably charged about the same to see a movie back then as they do now. Wouldn't it be great if we could say that about a lot of other things (gas, milk, cars)? I guess I love these theaters because they remind me of the "old days" (I know that seems comical to many of you who are quite older than me). They still bear the same architecture, decorations and technology as they did when they were built and I believe because of that they are time machines enabling you to step back thirty years and breathe its air for a couple of hours. Or they are like museums recreating a time long ago that I actually lived in. Usually the theater itself is much more narrow, and quite a bit longer from front to back than our modern ones. Something about these dimensions creates a changed perspective of the screen and the audience. You can almost always count on a few seats being covered with a trash bag because they are broken. The movies they feature are stuck in release date purgatory, no longer new releases worthy of the megaplexes, and not yet ready for DVD release. The only place you will catch them is at the dollar theaters. I also like the fact that most of the time they are virtually empty. As much as I enjoy going to the movies, the experience is magnified if I am the only one in the theater (psychologically I still haven't figured out why it is that I enjoy this, and in general being in places by myself that would normally be filled with people; perhaps it's something to do with the only child thing). The fewer people in the theater the better. It gives it an almost creepy, spooky, 70's horror film feel (I know I'm weird, you don' have to point it out to me).
     My first "indoor" movie was at the Crockett Theater in Lawrenceburg, Tennessee. Not to be confused with the Crockett Cinema. You wanna talk about old theaters, the Crockett Theater was one of those old beauties from the early era of cinema. I'm talking 1930-50's era. It has the majestic, ornately designed "3-D" marquis sign out front. There was the single person ticket booth at the entrance and the inside......breathtaking. It looked like you were walking into a famous opera house. It even had a balcony, which we sat in! The movie was "The Goonies." I'll never forget my aunt Paula taking me and my cousin Clayton. I think this was when I first fell in love with old movie theaters. I was nine years old and I loved it so much that I had my 10th birthday at the movies. It was Rocky IV and I found a twenty dollar bill on the floor and for years after that I would walk the aisles looking under seats before I would leave the theater. Previous to this excursion I had only ever been to drive ins. You wanna get me talking about something I love? Get me started in on drive ins, but that's a blog for another day.
     Sadly, the Ashley Theater is another cinema for another day. A day that has passed us by and will likely never come this way again. When we visited Valdosta for the first time, literally the first time, a full year before being offered a job here, Po and I went to see a movie at the Ashley Theater. In the four years since we have been many, many times. Sadly, I will be out of town with work on Sunday night when they show their last movie, otherwise I would be there. I still may try to get by tomorrow if I can, just for one last time. Just like your favorite movie that you don't want to end, at some point the closing credits must roll. Too bad there won't be a sequel.

I Hate Myself And Want To Die

     Wow, that title really gets your attention doesn't it? Actually that isn't my title. I lifted it from a Nirvana song from 1993. At the time of recording Nirvana lead singer Kurt Cobain insisted the song was just a joke, an example of dark humor and not to be taken literally or even seriously. Maybe so, but the sad reality is one year later he would kill himself with a shotgun. At the time of his suicide he was the biggest rock star on the planet with a wife, a little girl and more money than he could spend. Nirvana was my generations Beatles and I can remember vividly where I was when I heard he was dead. My girlfriend (now wife) and I were in my car sitting at a red light beside the Killen Church of Christ in Killen, Alabama, on our way back home to Pulaski from a long weekend in Tupelo. It came over the radio that he had been found dead at his home in Seattle. What would make a guy who seems to have it all, hate himself and want to die? The same thing that makes millions of other people feel the same way......depression.
     Depression is a topic we'd rather not talk about. It makes us uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. But did you realize over 1 million people commit suicide worldwide every year? For those under 45 it is the third leading cause of death. Additionally some 20 million suicide attempts occur every year. That means every 40 seconds someone is attempting suicide somewhere in the world. Truth is, I'd rather not talk about it, but after this past weekend I feel like I'm a negligent Christian, parent and human being if I don't.
     This past weekend I was a part of the Y.E.S. Weekend (http://www.forrestpark.org/YES/index.htm) at the Forrest Park Church of Christ where we worship in Valdosta. Each year, for the past 27 years, around 1,000 people, predominantly teens, come together for this Youth Enrichment Seminar. Each year I am humbled by the confessions of the dozens of teens who respond to the Lord's invitation for help, strength, forgiveness, courage, etc. They are trying to live godly lives in a very ungodly world. This year, was different. There were still dozens of kids who responded, but their confessions were much different than what I have heard before. Around half of the kids who responded mentioned: loneliness, low self-esteem, hurting themselves (i.e. cutting, burning, etc), addictions, suicide attempts or thoughts, hating themselves and depression. As I listened I sat and cried. I kept asking myself how have we missed this so badly? How is it that so many of these children are hurting so terribly and we haven't even noticed? I think there are a couple of reasons why.
     #1 - We are embarrassed to talk about it. Depression is an ugly, scary subject that makes us very uncomfortable. Although views about mental illness have improved drastically from the dark ages of the 1960's and before, it is still very much a social stigma. We are embarrassed  by it, ashamed of it and largely consider it a weakness, a flaw or just being overly dramatic. I don't know why. Would we judge a diabetic as weak or flawed because their pancreas doesn't work like it should and they have to take meds and see an Endocrinologist? So we keep it quiet if someone in our family has to see a therapist or counselor, much less has to be admitted to a facility. "What will people think?" Who cares what they think! You don't think "people" already "think" a lot of things about us? Part of the problem is worrying more about what people think than what can we do to help the person who is ill to get better. I have never seen a greater demonstration of bravery than I saw this weekend when those children confessed before 1,000 people, most of whom were strangers to them, "I hate myself and want to die." I'll tell you flat out, I don't have that kind of courage. Most of the time I'm too afraid to tell my own family what I'm struggling with. God bless those kids for being so strong. You are now my heroes. A funny thing happened after they spoke up about what they were going through. They were mobbed with support. I sat back and watched for ten minutes as people, many of them strangers, waited in line just to hug them, speak a word of encouragement, and cry with them. It was one of the most beautiful things I've seen in my 38 years in the church. I saw the church as it ought to be. "That there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together" (1 Corinthians 12:25-26). Oh I'm sure there were those who whispered, laughed or thought they were weak, but that's their problem. There will always be people like that, just like there will always be people who are still convinced the earth is flat, but thankfully those are in the minority and it should be the same with those who would look down on another for their struggles. The haters voices were drowned out by the overwhelming support. (By the way, here is a great resource you might turn to if you are to afraid to speak up yet or don't feel you have anyone to turn to: http://thelightnetwork.tv/tag/juniper/  and http://anomalousjaney.blogspot.com I don't personally know her, but we have met once, and she is one of the most courageous people I know simply for creating this podcast and blog).
     #2 - We can't relate to what they are talking about. I have hated myself for long periods of time. I have self medicated. I have hurt myself. I have been depressed. I have been very depressed, but I don't suffer from depression (in the clinical sense). Most of us have felt those things and maybe even struggled with them some, but most of us are not clinically depressed and because of that we don't understand what it's like. It's not that we don't care or that we aren't trying, but we just can't relate to what someone who does is feeling. I don't know what it feels like to want to die or to want to kill myself. I have never felt that so I don't understand when someone tells me they do. But here's the thing, I don't have to understand, I just have to care. I learned a long time ago that when I am at a funeral with those who have just lost a loved one, that it's ok to not know what to say. There is nothing you can say. You can say the greatest thing in the world and their loved one will still be dead. They aren't needing people to say the right thing (and when we try we usually say the wrong thing), they are needing people. They need to not be alone. They need someone to hold to, lean on, hug, cry with, yell at, talk to, they just need someone to be there. The same is true when someone is suffering from depression. You aren't going to "talk them out of their depression" anymore than you can talk a diabetic out of low insulin production. Just let them know they are loved, let them know someone cares, let them know someone will listen and let them know you will help any way you can.
     My inspiration for this particular blog post, and the inspiration for so much of the good in my life, is my oldest. This past weekend he was one of the dozens who confessed struggles with these things. Recently he posted on social media a statement about his struggles with depression and the need for people to "get over it" and be a friend to those who are hurting. He got so much of who he is both physically and mentally from his dad, but he didn't get his courage from me. I am envious of the bravery he has shown in stepping out of the shadows and speaking up about this. He inspired me to write these words today.
     I don't think I've ever done this but I'd like to ask you for a favor. Share this article on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, whatever medium you use. Let's get this conversation started so that people who are needing help with this struggle can come out of hiding in the shadows and find love, acceptance and a support system. I know there will still be people who self medicate (drugs, alcohol, porn, etc), those who will hurt themselves, and those who will take their own lives, but God forbid it be because we let them feel too ashamed or scared to reach out. Who knows, the life you save my be your own.

Brandon Britton Is The Most Interesting Man InThe World

     I fully realize this may be the most narcissistic thing in the world that a person can do, but I'll admit that tonight I did a Google search of myself. Me doing this shouldn't surprise you, at one time I was friends with every Brandon Britton listed on Facebook. In all honesty it wasn't for conceited purposes, but mostly to make sure nothing embarrassing from my past was on the internet (I say a prayer of thanks regularly that we did not have social media or camera phones when I was younger). I discovered nothing embarrassing existed (except for some audio of sermons I preached as a young preacher) thankfully. However, I did discover some pretty amazing, exciting and interesting things that Brandon Britton apparently has done and is doing and I wanted to share those with you. Most of you probably thought Brandon Britton was about as vanilla and boring as they come (husband, dad, preacher, missionary, serial blogger, disturbingly obsessive lover of all things New Orleans, Cajun chef extraordinaire, music lover, sports fan), but you would be terribly wrong. Allow me to introduce Brandon Britton, the most interesting man in the world.
     He is a mixed martial arts fighter.

     

     He does fire and disaster clean up.

     He is a male model and actor.

     He is a musician with songs on iTunes.

     He is a professional tennis player.

     He is also, apparently, a felon who threatened the president and candidate for president.

     He is also a preacher, but you wouldn't know that until about page 4 of his Google search results. Obviously most these Brandon Brittons are not me, but there is one similarity. I too am many different things, including some bad ones. I've never threatened a political figure and I'm not a felon, but I have plenty of "crimes" of my own. Many times people pigeon hole me and categorize me as "this" or "that" (and I'm guilty of doing that to others as well), but the truth is I'm not so simple to explain. I am so many things, most of which you probably don't know. Why am I telling you this? Because I'm inviting you to take the time to get to know me. If you've been reading this blog you probably have already realized that I am many things you never imagined and you know that I am, at heart, very shy about meeting and opening up to new people. I usually need a little prodding. There is nothing more exciting than learning that you have something in common or share a passion for something, with someone that you thought you could never relate to. It's amazing how common interests can break down walls and make friends of those who seem so different on first contact. So I introduce to you Brandon Britton: cage fighter, disaster clean up man, musician, tennis player, actor/model, criminal, and just me, the most interesting person I can be.

P.S. - During this search I discovered, get this, a Britton Plaza in Brandon, Florida!!!! You know I've got to visit there and get my picture made. Road trip!