My wife hasn't been a "preacher's wife" in the traditional sense of the word in nearly three years, but this morning I overheard her phone conversation and it triggered a lot of thoughts and memories that I should have shared a long time ago.
This morning she was talking with a sister in Christ who's family had suffered a sudden death and was in the midst of trying to deal with a dozen different things. I overheard her asking the lady to let her cook their meals, clean their house, let them use our house to host a family gathering, and organize a family gathering for them that was already scheduled before the death. She just wanted to help and was willing to do anything her friend needed, and she meant it. I know she did because I remembered all of the times in the last 17 years that she has done those very things for people. And she did them for anyone in need equally. It could be a "prominent" member of the congregation, a visitor, a member that is hit or miss with attendance or one that has some serious problems and struggles they are dealing with. She didn't discriminate when it came to showing love. Would you believe some actually found fault with that? The criticism was that she spent a lot of time with people who weren't "good church goin' folks." It's funny now looking back on that type of comment because one of the complaints that Pharisee's issued about Jesus was that He was a "friend of publicans and sinners" (Matthew 11:19). Maybe what we thought was a complaint was actually a compliment ;)
She is no longer a "preacher's wife" like she once was, but she was an AMAZING PREACHER'S WIFE, and even though I'm not still a local preacher she is still doing the same things. She genuinely cares about people in a way that humbles, inspires and amazes me. She is always thinking about how to brighten someone else's day and inspire them in their lives and does a hundred little things to accomplish that. Even when she is laid up in the bed in so much pain she gets physically sick and cries, she is on Facebook trying to cheer someone up or make them feel loved, or using Paypal, Esty or Pinterest to send someone a "happy" (her term for a little surprise gift). I found out that this morning she had some cute little customized cookies sent to a preacher and his wife who live 500 miles away. Keep in mind, she doesn't actually know these people really. She's met them once (two years ago) and has communicated with them on social media a few times about campers, but she wanted to brighten their day. It's always amazed me that a small number of insecure people have overlooked a mountain of kindness, love, gifts and generosity that she heaps up and strain to find a tiny "flaw" to criticize her for. I've literally heard someone complain that she didn't smile enough?!?! If you've been around her for even five minutes you are likely thinking what a ridiculous idea that is, but when you are a person who truly wants to be a blessing to the people around you and you are told that, it cuts deep and makes you really doubt yourself.
I can't even begin to tell you how many young (and some older) women she has cried with and counseled at all hours of the night, who had been raped, abused by their boyfriends, were pregnant by their boyfriend, had substance abuse problems, were devastated by their husbands affair, felt they would be single and alone forever, or just didn't fit in at church. Just this week a woman sent her this message, "YOU my sweet friend are one of the main reasons I am where I am today. You were that Christian that used #4 to help me. When we needed the change, you took me in and helped me. I will never ever forget that and could never repay you any amount of money. I talked about you in class the other night because of what you did. It all started with you telling me to help you with VBS. I had to step out of my comfort zone and loved it once I got over the shock. Lol. And that started it all and it continued with ya'll studying with us. It seriously helped us at a time when we needed it the most. Love you so much! Thank you for teaching me what #4 is all about! (#4 was a reference to a point made in an article she shared that talked about taking weak Christians under your wing). The woman who sent that.....she's a preacher's wife now. If you look down and see a stone in your hand that you are ready to cast, ask yourself, "How many 'weak' Christians have I elevated to greater commitment to God by my judgmental/condemning approach?" When everyone wanted to kill the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8:1-11), Jesus took the focus off of her and onto Himself (why do you think He stooped down and wrote in the dirt instead of responding to them? It redirected everyone's attention from her, to Him), which is what He did for all of us on the cross. He took the focus of God's wrath for our sins off of us and put them on Himself. When all of those David wannabes, who would rather sling their stones at babes in Christ instead of wicked Goliath's, walked away, Jesus simply told her that He wasn't there to condemn her and told her to sin no more. And you know what? I bet she didn't.
Maybe you haven't been guilty of that attitude toward my wife, but have you done that to someone else? Maybe your preacher's wife? Once again I look to Scripture and notice that there were people who literally watched Jesus, staring at Him, scrutinizing His every word and deed, looking for something to find fault with Him (Mark 3:2; Luke 6:7; Luke 20:20). I'm not comparing my wife, or your preacher's wife to Jesus, but I am asking you to examine your own motives and actions and ask yourself do they reflect that of those who would even try to find fault in the Lord Himself?
Your preacher's wife most likely loves your family and congregation more than you can imagine. They didn't get in to this lifestyle because it was easy or lucrative, but because they have learned from Jesus how to love and serve people. Good church goin' folks, backsliders, Christmas and Easter only Christians, even heathens, and yes.....even you. The very ones who find a needle of a flaw in a haystack of good and use it to gouge them in the eye. The world desperately needs more of them, and if you will just stop laying stumbling blocks in their path, or better yet, join in with them, they will help inspire others to be like them by showing the love of Christ to those who have been deemed unlovable.
"Life's too short to worry, life's too long to wait. Life's too short not to love everybody, life's too long to hate."
