Four weeks ago I posted about the bad results and blunt realization that I was fat and old (http://brandonbritton.blogspot.com/2014/02/two-out-of-three-doctors-agree-im-fat.html). It's funny how a serious conversation with a doctor can really knock you off your game. Last August I had to begin taking blood pressure medication due to hypertension. Some just refer to it as high blood pressure, which is true, but I think the medical term is more accurate, hypertension, for the simple fact that it includes a serious contributor to the problem: tension.
2013, especially the last half of it, wasn't my best year. In fact, it may have been one of my worst. In all honesty, looking back, it wasn't really anything serious. Believe me, I have friends battling cancer, dealing with teenage pregnancy, enduring affairs, filing for bankruptcy, getting divorced, you name it. Those are real problems. But just because my struggles aren't as big, didn't mean that their impact on my life wasn't as real, or as debilitating. Things like moving far from home, family, friends and familiarity; starting a new job that you have no experience in; having your firstborn graduate from high school and your baby turn sixteen; traveling heavily and being away from your wife and children; trying to figure out how to pay for things like tuition and surgeries; having two children get seriously injured; and coming to grips with the fact you are medically fat and old (don't worry, in my rambling I haven't forgotten what this post is about). I didn't realize that tension, or as some would call it, stress, was building. The bigger it got, the less of me there was left. I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew something was. I felt constantly exhausted regardless of the amount of rest. Every night when I would get into bed I would begin having what could best be described as a panic attack (racing heart, feelings of tremendous fear). I struggled finding motivation to do anything and my family told me that I had changed. Wow! Wake up call. The worst part of it all, not knowing what to do about it. You have to understand I have a reputation for being the one that nothing ever gets to. I was Teflon to stress, so succumbing to it was an undiscovered country for me. Many of nights I found myself thinking, "So, is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?"
Generally when people speak of a "mid-life crisis" they do so in derogatory terms. You think of ponytails, earrings, motorcycles and girlfriends, but mine (if that is even what we're dealing with) has been quite positive. The doctor made some suggestions, most of them medicinal which I rejected, except for the blood pressure meds, which I hope to ditch once I drop another 20 pounds, but some of them I heeded. Like exercise, improved diet, increased water intake (seriously, I'm drinking 100-150 ounces a day), regular sleep patterns, and stress release activities. I started writing again (hence the flood of blogs and over-sharing that fill your news stream regularly), experimenting in forms of art (poetry, song writing, mixed media) and trying to stop being as introverted (I've actually started a few conversations with total strangers), all to improve my emotional health.
The other half of the equation is improving my physical health. Since the "Fat And Old" blog post four weeks ago I have lost eight pounds and since January 1st I have lost twenty. I am not a gym rat, but I am exercising moderately. The main change has been my eating. I have taken control of my appetite. I haven't had a soft drink in a month, I haven't had bread, pasta or sugar in a month either. I don't consider myself to be "dieting" but rather modifying my lifestyle. In reality I'm just taking control of my life and it is paying off.
I haven't solved all the problems, and I've still got a couple of issues to work out, but I feel like me again. In fact, I feel better than me. I feel like me with some improvements. If I have a goal for the second half of life it would be this: take what I've learned over nearly four decades and put it to good use. Hopefully by my next update I'll be just a little bit older, but a whole lot less fat.
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