To the best of my recollection, the first time I ever knew there was a Cidney orbiting our little world, was from a picture at a wedding in Michigan. Back then our lives were so distanced from Kase that I only caught snippets of where he was going and what he was doing through Honey. She was much better at staying in touch and staying informed on his whereabouts and activities. I remember he was going to Michigan to perform his first wedding, or be in the wedding, (see I wasn’t paying close enough attention to the details), and I generally only kept up with the arrivals and departures — let me know when you leave, let me know that you made it. Somewhere around that time Honey showed me a picture he was in, standing beside one of two twin girls. I remember both of us just kind of looking at one another and saying, “Mmmmmhmmmmm”.
Shortly after seeing this picture I started hearing the name “Cidney” a lot more often. I still didn’t stay close to the latest information but the name kept popping up in all my conversations — with Honey, with Kase, with Mamaw and Grandaddy. Then came the weekend when Cidney was coming to stay at our house in Florida. I’m not going to pretend I’m so clairvoyant that I “knew” that weekend, but I knew this was serious. It’s hard to say exactly how, except that parents just know their children and there are some things you pick up on that are so subtle only family would see. After that weekend “Cidney” didn’t just pop up in conversations, she was the subject of most conversations. I don’t know why this sticks out in my mind, but I always loved that you just started calling me “B” from the start. No “Mr. Britton” or “Sir” or anything like that, just the casual, comfortable, “B”. I think I liked it because that is how I always wanted my daughter in loves to feel. (Speaking of daughter in loves, Honey coined that phrase for us and I have had a hard time saying “daughter in law” ever since).
When it got “for real for real” I knew I wanted to take you out on a “date” to get to know you separate from my son, and I wanted you to get to know me separate from your husband to be. I’ve never wanted a relationship with you just through Kase, I wanted us to have one too. I did my best that night to make it clear, if you marry my son, you will forever be my daughter. I’ve never had an intention or desire to replace your father, but simply to be a father to you the same way I am to my son. I wanted you to know that I will no more take his side against you than I would his side against his brother. I love you both and I will always want and try to do what is best for you both. I will not always succeed, but I will always try, and when I fail, you have every right to hold me accountable to that.
Looking back it feels like a whirlwind from that weekend in Florida to the day we got to witness your engagement in Alabama, to when we moved to Alabama and then headed to Oxford to see you get married. You made me a father in love, a role I’d never played, but one I longed to fill for many years. It’s crazy how someone can not be in your orbit for decades, and then one day become a permanent fixture in your world. You fit in from the start.
I love your sense of humor, your little short “ha-ha” staccato laugh, and I love the one where you get so tickled you don’t even make a sound. I love how you can both roll with the punches and stand your ground ready to throw punches whenever the situations call for either. I love you loyalty and your fire. Though I never want any of us to relive it, I wouldn’t trade anything for what I saw in you during the days you brought Magnolia into the world and in the early days after. You are as strong as any warrior and your best “fight” was brought out of you, not by anger or hate, but by love. Don’t ever let anything in life make you doubt or forget how strong you are. It will try, but you bear the scars of strength fueled by love and you will always have access to that when you need it. I will gladly stand beside you, or better yet, follow you into battle because I know you refuse to lose when something that matters is on the line.
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