Pretty much everyone knows Valentines Day is associated with love, but most folks probably think of the Roman god Cupid, rather than the Christian saint for which the holiday is named, which is a shame because I think you — our Valentines Day blessing — are more a kinsman of the 3rd century Saint Valentine than the mythical boy with a bow.
One of the candidates for the origin of St. Valentine was Valentino of Rome, who lived during the bloody reign of Emperor Claudius III, also known as Claudius the Cruel. Around seven hundred years earlier, the Greek playwright Sophocles wrote, “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." We too live in an era of cruelty, which is why those who lead in love must be acknowledged and celebrated, which is why today we are celebrating you on this holiday of love.
Your name is a feminine variation of his name which means worthy, strong, brave and powerful. I can think of no better adjectives to describe a mother, and certainly a mother of two under the age of three. Truth is, we aren’t exactly sure who, or what one specific person St. Valentine is; history connects his story to at least three different people, which is fitting for this comparison because you are not just “mother”; you are many people: mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, and no doubt there are pieces of who you are that are known to none of us; pieces you keep treasured up for yourself — which I fully support — because you don’t owe all of yourself to any of us, though you gladly give so much of it to so many.
One of the legend’s attributed to St. Valentine involves him restoring sight to a blind child. Perhaps the greatest gift you give the world is the way you see it. You tend to notice what few others see, people who get overlooked, things they don’t see in themselves, and passing that along to Roux and Mardi will be a treasure.
Another legend has him healing the hearing of a jailers daughter before St. Valentine was executed. You possess a gift for listening to what your children need rather than just assuming and telling them what you think they need. I’m often humbled by the emotional vocabulary I hear from Roux expressing his feelings and I know it’s because he’s heard you ask and encourage him to express how he feels. Children need to know that big people hear them and are listening, because when you’re small, it doesn’t seem that way. In an age of constant distraction, listening is a super power. A boy who learns he can talk about what he’s feeling, and know the people he cares about will listen, is less likely to damage his adult relationships from never having learned how to deal with his emotions, which tend to get bottled up and explode. A little girl whose voice is heard by those who love her, will never be intimidated into being silent by those who don’t respect her voice.
Ultimately, St. Valentine is associated with love, and so are you. You love deeply, sacrificially, enduringly and you love those whom lesser folks would consider unlovable. I can genuinely say I could swap the word “love” in 1 Corinthians 13 with your name and it will still be as true.
Valerie is patient and kind. Valerie is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Valerie does not demand her own way. She is not irritable, and she keeps no record of being wronged. She does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. She never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Love never fails and you never fail to love.
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