Jade will be quick to tell you that she didn’t marry a preacher. When she married me, two weeks after turning 19, I wasn’t much of anything except a mess. I think what she means is, “I didn’t sign up for this.” And she didn’t. She didn’t sign up for it when she met me, she got drafted into after we were married. On second thought, having spent time yesterday thinking about the strength and beauty of the Southern women in my life, and having spent over a month with her 24/7, I realize she wasn’t drafted into it, she was born for it.
Jade has been a "preacher's wife" for 23 years now, which means that she’s literally been a preacher’s wife longer than she wasn’t. Recently I was reminded of a phone call I overheard where she was talking with a sister in Christ who's family had suffered a sudden death and was in the midst of trying to deal with a dozen different things. I listened as she asked the lady to let her cook their meals, clean their house, let them use our house to host a family gathering, and organize a family gathering for them that was already scheduled before the death. She just wanted to help and was willing to do anything her friend needed, and she meant it. That was during a four year span when she wasn’t “the preacher’s wife” because I was working with Latin American Missions at the time. In other words, she didn’t “have” to do it, no one was expecting it of her, or judging her if she didn’t. She just did it because that is who she is, not who she was expected to be. And I know she meant it because, I remembered all of the times over the last 23 years that she has done those very things for countless people. She’s done them for anyone in need equally. It could be a "prominent" member of the congregation, a visitor, a member that is hit or miss with attendance or one that has some serious problems and struggles they are dealing with. She’s never discriminated when it came to showing love. Would you believe some have actually found fault with that? The criticism was that she spent a lot of time with people who weren't "good church goin' folks." It's funny now, looking back on that type of comment, because one of the complaints that Pharisee's issued about Jesus was that He was a "friend of publicans and sinners" (Matthew 11:19). Maybe what we thought was a complaint was actually a compliment.
Jade genuinely cares about people in a way that humbles, inspires, and amazes me. She is always thinking about how to brighten someone else's day and inspire them in their lives, and she does a hundred little things to accomplish that. Even when she is laid up in the bed in so much pain she gets physically sick and cries, she’s still on Facebook trying to cheer someone up or make them feel loved, or using Paypal, Esty or Pinterest to send someone a "happy" (her term for a little surprise gift). I remember on one occasion she sent some cute little customized cookies to a preacher and his wife who lived 500 miles away. Keep in mind, she doesn't actually know these people really. She'd met them once and communicated with them on social media a few times about campers, but she wanted to brighten their day.
I can't even begin to tell you how many young (and some older) women she has cried with and counseled at all hours of the night. Women who have been raped, abused by their husbands, were pregnant by their boyfriend, had substance abuse problems, were devastated by their husbands affair, felt they would be single and alone forever, or just didn't fit in at church. I’ve read the messages where a woman said, "YOU my sweet friend are one of the main reasons I am where I am today. When we needed the change, you took me in and helped me. I will never ever forget that and could never repay you any amount of money. I talked about you in class the other night because of what you did. It all started with you telling me to help you with VBS. I had to step out of my comfort zone and loved it once I got over the shock. And that started it all and it continued with ya'll studying with us. It seriously helped us at a time when we needed it the most. Love you so much!” The woman who sent that.....she's a preacher's wife now.
If you ever look down and see a stone in your hand that you are ready to cast, ask yourself, "How many 'weak' Christians have I elevated to greater commitment to God by my judgmental approach?" Will you use the stone in your hand as a weapon, a stumbling block, or a stepping stone toward building a relationship that elevates people when they are down? When everyone wanted to kill the woman caught in the act of adultery, Jesus took the focus off of her and onto Himself (John 8:1-11). Why do you think He stooped down and wrote in the dirt, instead of responding to them? It redirected everyone's attention from her, to Him, which is what He did for all of us on the cross. He took the focus of judgment for our sins off of us and put them on Himself. Jesus simply told her that He wasn't there to condemn her and then He told her to sin no more. And you know what? I bet she didn’t. Not that she never committed another sin in her life, but that she committed her life to not continue sinning.
There were people who literally watched Jesus, staring at Him, scrutinizing His every word and deed, looking for something to find fault with Him (Mark 3:2; Luke 6:7; Luke 20:20). Examine your own motives and actions and ask yourself if they reflect those who would even try to find fault in the Lord Himself? He loved and served them too, along with the good church goin' folks, the backsliders, the Christmas and Easter only Christians, even the outright heathens, and yes, even the ones who find a needle of a flaw in a haystack of good and use it to gouge Him in the eye.
Criticism is easy and it grows like a weed, but compassion is needed, and it has to be cultivated. Why not spend your time in this slow down sowing the seeds of compassion and cultivating a heart that truly cares for all? The world desperately needs more people like Jesus and Jade. People who help inspire others by showing the love of God to those who have been deemed unlovable by the unloving. "Life's too short to worry, life's too long to wait. Life's too short not to love everybody, life's too long to hate.”
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