What Goes Up, Must Come Down

36, Day 63 (Written Sunday February 12) ~ Gravity. It is one unmerciful, unbiased, constant in life. What goes up must come down. Today my ego/self esteem/pride went up this morning and almost as quickly came crashing down to earth like a meteor streaking across the sky: glowing and beautiful for a moment only to flame out and drop like a rock. Let me explain.

(Warning: the following account may cause you to have disappointment in me as it will reveal truth about me that is not necessarily a positive, but I vowed in this blog I would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, regardless of how it makes me look at times).

We have liftoff. This morning during worship at the West Huntsville Church of Christ they announced the death of one of their elderly members. She died yesterday. After worship someone pointed out her husband in the assembly. His wife died yesterday, but he was in worship this morning (kind of makes you feel terrible about all the times you've missed worship because you didn't 'feel good' doesn't it?). I recognized him and have talked with him many times over the years as I've visited West Huntsville. I approached him and we started talking and I told him I was sorry for his loss. He was in his 80's and his faith showed its maturity in his next statement. "I am as happy as I have ever been. My wife is in heaven, she was a good wife to me and she isn't in pain anymore. She would feel sorry for us for still having to be here." That is why I am a Christian, and he went on to explain that if it wasn't for the things he knew because of his faith he wouldn't even be able to get out of bed. We talked and talked until everyone was gone except the people who locked the building. We had been invited by friends to join them at the mall food court for lunch and it was getting late, but he obviously didn't want to stop talking. I could tell he was so lonely today. I'm sure the thought of going to his empty house was more than he could stand. So, I invited him to join us for lunch. I laughed when he asked where the mall was, so my oldest son rode with him to make sure he arrived. I had been blessed by someone earlier that day so I decided to be a blessing to him, and bought his lunch. We finished lunch and I got back into the van feeling pretty good about myself for a good deed done.

Houston we have a problem. The first thing you need to know is that the subject of my sermon this morning was Mark 6 and how what was supposed to be a day off for Jesus and the apostles, turned into an all day event serving multiple thousands of people. At the end of the day the disciples told Jesus to send the people away to go get something to eat. I wonder if they were thinking like me? We've done our good deed for the day (working and serving strangers on our day off), now we're off the clock. Jesus said no, you feed them. They begin to make excuses like there is nowhere to buy food and even if there were, we don't have enough money to buy food for all of these people. They didn't want to be inconvenienced anymore. These people were not their problem. They should have thought to bring their own food. They can go find their own food. Even if it was up to us, we don't have the ability to meet their needs. The point was that when opportunities to serve and help to meet the needs of others arise, Jesus does not want us to pass it off to someone else, but to do something about it ourselves. Immediately after leaving the mall, we went to Michaels to look for some stuff to use at a youth event next weekend. While looking at some things outside, a man approaches me and says he's homeless and on his way back to his hometown and that a church had bought him a bus ticket but he didn't have any money.

Before going further you need to know that a little while back I made a decision that I was going to help people who asked for it without making excuses. Years of working with churches has brought me in contact with tons of con artists and lazy bums who want others to pay their bills and support them. Almost always I have passed them off to the benevolence deacon at the church (you know, it's his problem to deal with, not mine). But since I'm not with a local congregation, I decided I need to do it myself. I've always dismissed most of these people as probably conning me, probably an alcoholic or drug addict looking for a fix, if they've got money for cigarettes they could have money for food, etc, etc, etc. You know the excuses because you probably have made them too. Anyway, I decided no more excuses. Funny how God seems to put your declarations to the test. The next day a man approached me in a Valdosta parking lot. I was literally on my way to watch Alabama play in the national championship game at a friends house, but I thought, God is giving me an opportunity to put my money where my faith is, so I had the guy and his wife follow me to a grocery store and I bought them some groceries. A couple of days later we were driving around in our new home town (which borders the interstate) and came across a man holding a sign asking for food. We pulled into Arby's bought some food and took it to him (although I nearly scared him to death because the trucks on the interstate were so loud he didn't hear me approaching from behind and I almost gave him a heart attack when I touched his shoulder). Brandon 2, Selfishness/laziness 0. Back to reality.

The inevitable crash. The man at Michael's tells me his story, asks for help and I tell him, truthfully, that I don't have any cash or I would gladly help him. He says thanks and walks off. I felt bad, but what could I do, I didn't have any money on me to give him. Twenty minutes later, walking through Michael's the sermon I HAD JUST PREACHED began to prick my heart. I had just done everything the apostles did and pleaded with the audience not to do. I had already done a good deed that day. This person needed help, but I knew others had already helped him with a bus ticket (somebody else's problem) and although I would have liked to have helped I didn't have any cash (excuses for why I can't help). I could have used my check card to get cash back or I could have gone to a nearby restaurant or ATM, but I didn't. Instead, I did exactly what I said we shouldn't do.

Lesson learned. Preacher humbled. Forgiveness asked. Prayer offered. Encouragement received. If Jesus can get dead Lazarus up from lying in a grave, He can help pick me back up after my faith crashed and burned.