About four months ago Jade (my wife) and I made a shocking discovery. We were making hotel reservations for an out of town trip for a doctors appointment and began discussing the last time we went away for a weekend alone. After several minutes of blank stares and perplexed expressions, we realized it had been over five years! As we thought back through our marriage we realized it only happened about once every two years.
Frequently our refrigerator is covered with engagement photos under the caption "Save the date" announcing their wedding day. Perhaps I should send a return letter to the newlyweds urging them to "save the date." By this I mean save the practice of going on dates after you're married. Why do people fall in love? Usually because they spend lots of time together talking, laughing, traveling and having fun.....dating. What happens once they get married? Too often they stop dating each other and once the dating stops, the countdown to love dying starts. Married couples need, need, need to keep dating.
I know the obstacles: jobs, kids, hectic schedules, money (remember I've been married for nearly 17 years). I can assure you, if you allow these things to be obstacles that keep you from dating, eventually they will become road blocks for your relationship. It doesn't have to be fancy, big or expensive, it just needs to be the two of you, alone, talking, spending time, having fun and showing affection. Ideally this would be once a week, but at the very least, once a month. Once you start you will crave this time and work hard and creatively to make it happen more frequently. We haven't always done this, but we do now and I look for every excuse and opportunity to be alone with my wife, whether it's for an hour or a weekend.
Our weekend together was such a shot to our marriage that when we got home we immediately booked the same bed and breakfast for a return trip in three months (which we just returned from this weekend). I've been with her since I was 17 and every time we get away like this, I feel like we're 17 again. We've been back less than a week and we've booked it again for our anniversary weekend. I'm counting the days until December 29th. I've saved the date.
I read your blog. Write about something controversial next time. See ya dork
ReplyDeleteI sure do love this. I think it should be mandatory when a couple gets married to include the "dating time" in the vows or at least be made aware of how important it is. Communication is key to a lasting relationship and what better way for that than a weekend getaway. A walk in the park wouldn't be a bad idea either :)
ReplyDelete