Five-Oh

 


The first photo I ever took of you.

                    
                                                        The first photo taken of us together.


                                                       The most recent photo I took of you.

                                                The most recent photo taken of us together.


Birthday celebrations and parties are a common part of our culture — our family has celebrated five of them just this week — but it hasn’t actually been like this for very long. The children’s birthday parties with cake and candles and gifts that are so familiar to our culture, only go back around 175 years, being influenced by the German Kinderfests a century earlier.


Historically, only the birthday of people of great power and renown were celebrated. It all started 3,000 years ago with the Pharaohs who were considered gods among men. The practice was later adopted by the Greeks to honor their gods, and eventually the Romans incorporated it to celebrate the 50th year of prominent leaders. I suppose it's fitting that today I am celebrating the 50th year of a great and prominent woman, with great power and renown in my life — my wife Jade. 


50 years ago today, the world at large had no clue of the good thing that was coming into it, and most of the world still doesn’t — but I do, and so do hundreds of other people whose lives you’ve made better by your love, compassion, kindness, generosity, loyalty, and influence. I have been blessed to be a part of 33 of those 50 years, and though it is your birthday, I am the one making wishes today.


I wish I could have been a part of the first 17 years that I didn’t get to witness. If some is good, more is better — or as Alan Jackson sang, “Too much of a good thing, is still a good thing.” 


Smiles in the morning as warm as sunshine

Kisses when I lay down at night

And two loving arms to console me

I should be scared it's so right

But too much of a good thing is a good thing

Feelings like this can't be wrong

And too much of a good thing is a good thing

And we've got a good thing going on

You look in my eyes and see my thinking

I know when you're happy, and when you're sad

Some would say it's too perfect

But I don't think what we have is so bad

'Cause too much of a good thing is a good thing

Feelings like this can't be wrong

And too much of a good thing is a good thing

And we've got a good thing going on

Yeah, we've got a good thing going on


Forgive me, I’m an only child, and the unfair stereotype is that we are spoiled. Normally I push back on that assumption, but not in this case. I am selfish when it comes to you. Most of my life, two-thirds of it in fact, you’ve been in it, but I would selfishly take the other 17 if I could, and I want every year I can get, and then I’ll still be wanting more. Which brings me to my next wish.


My wish is to spend every year you have left on this earth with you, and that we are only half way there, with another 50 to enjoy. I know we’ve both said we have no interest in living to be very old, losing so many of our senses and abilities, but truth is, if I ever get to the point that I can only lay in a bed next to yours and look at you, my life will still be worth the living. Watching the sunrise never gets old, and neither does watching you go through the simple and mundane tasks that make up our everyday lives. Drinking coffee, making lists, snuggling a grandchild to sleep, buying and sending someone a 'happy', working the garden, sitting in a rocking chair. All of which are simple, humble ingredients that — when combined and warmed slowly over time in the hearth of your loving heart — create a moveable feast that we’ve enjoyed together from Tennessee and Mississippi to the Caribbean, to Georgia, to Central America, to Florida, and Alabama, as teenagers, as husband and wife, as parents, and now as grandparents. You never grow tired of eating your favorite meal, and I will forever crave this communion with you.


I wish you all the happiness and good things that this world has to offer, because that is what you have brought to this world — happiness and good things. You deserve to get what you give, and it will always be my goal to ensure that you do. Fifty years ago today you entered this world, and four days later I would follow. All these years later I'm still following after you. As Ruth said to Naomi, "Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee. Whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me. To borrow a line from our beloved Nahko, "Who wants to wear the hat this morning? I reckon neither of us cares. 'Cause there is more to life than leading, and I would follow you I swear. And if you call on me, I'll come running like a coyote."


I'll be the earth that grounds you

From that chaos all around

I'll be the home you return to

I can be your middle ground

I will serve as a reminder

If you jump you will not fall

Go on and spread those wings of reason

We are water after all

And if you call on me

I'll come running like a coyote

'Cause we're pillars indeed

A lighthouse when you're out to sea

A beacon when direction's all I need

A compass if you know what I mean

Drunk on that nectar, of all that you are to me

And you can trust me and my instincts

'Cause they are like that of a bird

I am loyal, I will feed you

And sing you songs you never heard

Who wants to wear the hat this morning?

I reckon neither of us cares

'Cause there is more to life than leading

And I would follow you I swear

And if you call on me

I'll come running like a coyote

'Cause we're pillars indeed

A lighthouse when you're out to sea

A beacon when direction's all I need

A compass if you know what I mean

Drunk on that nectar, of all that you are to me

And I will always share my fire

A proper way to pay respects

Lay tobacco down in gratitude

One thing I cannot neglect

And there are eyes that watch us closely

And there's a story they will tell

There's a war between fact and fiction

And we have no time to dispell

So familiar yet so foreign

Poloraids say so much

Bring me ceremony parellels

I'll bring palaver and sagebrush

And if you call on me

I'll come running like a coyote

'Cause we're pillars indeed

A lighthouse when you're out to sea

A beacon when direction's all I need

A compass if you know what I mean

Drunk on that nectar, of all that you are to me

And I love your feet for how they found me

And how they walked upon four winds

Be my deer, I'll be your meadow

Come graze upon bare skin


Merci beaucoup, ma chérie — la vie est belle, c’est si bon, quelle joie de vivre !

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